Coping with Holiday Loneliness in DC: A Psychologist’s Guide

The holidays can bring feelings of loneliness even when surrounded by twinkling lights and festive gatherings. If you’re experiencing holiday loneliness during the holidays, you’re far from alone—a 2020 survey found that 70 percent of Americans feel some degree of loneliness as the holidays approach. There are proven strategies to help you feel more connected during this difficult time.

Why Do Holidays Make Me Feel Lonely?

The holiday season amplifies feelings of loneliness for several interconnected reasons. Research shows that loneliness can be as damaging to your physical and mental health as smoking 15 cigarettes daily, affecting everything from heart disease risk to depression.

Many factors increase feelings of isolation around the holidays. The loss of a loved one, seasonal affective disorder, and cold weather can intensify these emotions. Social media posts showing curated moments of joy create unrealistic expectations, leaving you comparing your reality to others’ highlight reels.

In a city as transient as DC, where many professionals live far from loved ones and close family, the holidays can feel especially isolating. When your work friends leave town and your family members are hundreds of miles away, the winter holidays can underscore how far you are from your support network.

In our practice, we regularly work with DC professionals who feel disconnected during the holidays despite their busy social calendars. The distinction matters: you can feel lonely at a crowded holiday event if the connections lack depth or meaning.

Why Are Holidays Hard for Single People?

The holidays center many traditions around family and romantic relationships, making single people feel like outsiders looking in. Holiday cards, big meal celebrations, and social engagements often assume you’ll bring a partner, creating awkward moments when you’re flying solo.

Older adults and those who live alone may face increased social isolation during this time. The past year’s losses can resurface as the season serves as an anniversary that revisits grief. Single people also face practical challenges: buying gifts, wrapping gifts, and attending holiday events alone can feel overwhelming when everyone else appears to be paired up.

How to Cope with Being Alone on a Holiday

Alone time during the holidays doesn’t have to equal loneliness—when approached intentionally, solitude can become an opportunity for meaningful self care and personal growth. Learning to cope with spending the holidays alone helps you distinguish between healthy alone time and feelings of isolation that harm your mental wellness.

Create New Traditions That Work for You

Starting new traditions helps you reclaim the holidays on your own terms. Rather than focusing on what you’re missing during the holiday season, build rituals that bring joy and a deeper sense of purpose to your life. This might mean volunteering at a local organization, hosting a gathering for friends spending the holidays in DC, or creating a personal ritual that honors what matters to you.

Service and volunteering can be a powerful antidote to feelings of isolation during the holiday season. Engaging in community service helps you feel more connected while giving back to others. Many DC organizations need volunteers during the holidays, from food banks to community centers.

We often encourage clients to reframe volunteering not as obligation but as connection. When you help others, you’re building relationships and purpose simultaneously—two powerful buffers against loneliness that many people overlook during the holidays.

Maintain Connection Through Small Actions

Research shows that regular contact with people who care about you significantly reduces loneliness and depressive symptoms. You don’t need long visits—even brief interactions matter:

Call or video chat with family members or friends once or twice a week
Send text messages to people you care about, even if just to check in
Accept invitations to connect, even when you don’t feel like it at first

Focus on quality over quantity in your relationships. Meaningful conversations matter more than simply being around many people. When you connect with others during the holidays, share your thoughts and feelings honestly rather than limiting yourself to small talk. Talk with people who make you feel valued and remind you that connection is possible.

Stay Active in Your Community

Keeping busy with activities that involve other people helps reduce social isolation. The DC Public Library hosts events like Coffee & Conversation and Crafting Circles designed to foster community engagement during the winter months. Attending the Downtown Holiday Market or visiting museums can help you spend time around others while enjoying the holiday atmosphere.

Local groups on Meetup.com offer activities from hiking to book clubs, giving you opportunities to meet people who share your interests. Whether you join a fitness class, volunteer group, or hobby community, these group activities provide structure and social connection.

Practice Good Self Care

Emotional challenges often intensify during the holidays, making self care crucial. Healthy habits like adequate sleep, nutritious food, and regular physical activity improve your mood and help you cope with negative emotions. Set boundaries around social media to limit exposure to curated holiday posts that trigger comparison and inadequacy.

Know your limits and when you need to recharge. Taking time for yourself isn’t selfish—it’s necessary for maintaining your well-being throughout the season. Some alone time during the holidays can be healthy if done in moderation.

Ready to move forward?

Why Do I Feel So Empty During the Holidays?

Feeling empty during the holidays often signals deeper challenges beyond typical loneliness. While loneliness is about lacking meaningful connections, emptiness can indicate depression, unresolved grief, or the weight of unrealistic expectations about what this time of year should bring.

The gap between the holiday spirit portrayed everywhere and your actual emotional experience can create a deep sense of disconnection. When you’re told the holidays should be joyful but you feel hollow, it’s easy to think something is wrong with you rather than recognizing that learning to cope with these feelings is both valid and common.

Challenge Negative Thoughts

How you think about yourself and your situation affects how lonely you feel during the holidays. Studies show that working on negative thought patterns is one of the most effective ways to reduce feelings of loneliness.

Notice when you’re being overly critical of yourself or catastrophizing about being alone. Remind yourself that feeling lonely doesn’t mean something is fundamentally wrong with you—it’s a normal human signal that you need more connection, just like hunger signals you need food. Accept that these feelings can improve with time and effort.

Build New Relationships

While maintaining existing relationships matters, developing new friendships takes time but offers lasting benefits. Look for opportunities to meet people who share your values or interests through community centers, volunteer groups, and classes.

Many Americans feel more stressed and isolated during the holiday season, which means you’re not the only person looking to forge bonds. Taking the first step to reach out—whether to an old friend or new acquaintance—often leads to more connection than you expect.

When to Seek Professional Help

If your holiday loneliness is accompanied by persistent sadness, hopelessness, or thoughts of harming yourself, reach out to a healthcare provider right away. Professional support through therapy can be highly effective for addressing loneliness during the holidays and helping you reconnect with loved ones.

In our practice, we find that people often wait too long to seek help, believing they should handle holiday stress alone. Reaching out for support isn’t a sign of weakness—it’s a practical step toward feeling better, especially when loneliness persists beyond the season.

The DC Department of Behavioral Health Access HelpLine is available 24/7 at 1-888-7WE-HELP for mental health support. You can also contact the 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline by calling or texting 988 for immediate assistance.

Finding Connection This Holiday Season

The holidays can evoke both pleasure and pain, creating ambivalent feelings about this time of year. Whether you’re spending time alone or navigating social events that leave you feeling isolated, small steps toward connection can make a meaningful difference.

Service to others, honest conversations with friends, and community activities all serve as pathways out of loneliness. Start with what feels manageable—reaching out to one person, joining one activity, or challenging one negative thought is enough to begin.

Get Support for Holiday Loneliness in DC

If you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness or social isolation this holiday season, our team at Therapy Group of DC can help. Our psychologists and therapists understand the unique challenges of navigating the holidays in a transient city, and we offer evidence-based support to help you build meaningful connections and improve your mental wellness. Contact us to schedule a consultation.